Dear journal, nights are sleepless my Instagram is growing Facebook has the max on friends and it is giving my mom a fit. At what age are you too old to care what your parents think? Just sharing some thoughts. Well that's it for now.

dear journal

i have decided to put myself out there and start expressing my feelings online, to me the split between my husband and I was not hard for me, what is hard for me is the fact that I moved in family. family is family that's all you i can say sometimes we get along others times it just Tenisha is so moody. that is all i will say for that. amy who i wrote this poem that i would like to get read so i'm posting that. among other things the first few months went well without him, because my lack of income i got medicaid and i started seeing all specialists that i needed to good news right. well i have had two surgeries so far i still need more i have trigger and i still am considering weight loss surgery. i lost 40 gained back twenty and i am back on weight watchers no exercise because of all my pains. my appointments have slowed down but i go to my therapist every week because i am still depressed but i am trying to overcome. i have sit backs i'm in a bad place right now, but i have been through so much but i hope i can grow stronger than ever. hence forth here is my poetry. My happily ever after, ended 9 years later in disaster, I brush away battle wounds and heal more each day, I know I will never again let anyone hurt me that way, as time goes by I sit in my pity, I just need to leave this city, this state, this time, this address, painful nights and by days useless, the love of my kids gives me reason to go on, don't take this poem wrong, the day I told him to leave my love was gone, still sometimes I reminisce like Mary, I remember with Keisha, Mariah takes me to my lost love at school, Usher reminds me of why I was a fool, I realize it was not all bad, great laughs and nights passionate, get plenty of offers but I ain't trying to fall in love yet.

the simple joys of family life

I was showering this morning and it was the most peaceful shower that I have had in like a month it it was like at 4:30am. So I was thinking to myself that all the times my kids disrupted my calgon moment it is due time for a taste of their own medicine. So today in my battle for my household when it is bath time I shall disrupt them. Parents there will be no mental abuse just enough drama to ruin their bath fun. It is going to be perfect. I will give them tons of bubbles and bath toys with lukewarm water that is how they like it. I will leave and listen around the corner than when everything is fun I will pop up and ask them where the apple juice is? I don't feel guilty about my plans there is no need to. I feel that every parent takes the opportunity to bother their children. I just hope they don't get the idea to splash me. Today victory will be mine. Well at least five seconds because I am sure dealing with all three of them at some point today they will regain power. Any who I could be doing better my back was getting better but I have fallen like three times this week. I am beyond tried of hearing about Micheal Jackson just let the man rest in peace and stop trying to make money off of him. Jon and Kate are still in the news this is America every five seconds someone is getting a divorce and people people forgive Chris brown. its like the comedian said if they were to college kids fighting over a pack of ramen noodles no one would care. No one is talking about the girl from spider man III that hung herself now that was sad. It's like she died on a bad week because she barely made headlines. This dumb dumb in my city stole a car with a toddler in it and thought that he would not get arrested. Well it is too early for so much drama , don't even get me started on Steve mcnair men never learn having more than one woman will eventually kill you well that is in the USA that is. have a great morning and stay tuned for more from me including a video blog of my kids acting crazy and I will keep a weight log I just have to get some more equipment.

Lately I have been reading some of the headlines and it is just crazy what makes news now. No wonder why so many low income people feel invalid. I saw Kate from John and Kate plus eight on the cover of a magazine calling her a bad mom because she gave a smack on the butt to one of her kids. That is just crazy when a child does something wrong parents can deem punishment as they seem fit. If you like some others feel like you do not want to hit your child keep it to yourself and when they end up sexually active and bringing a baby home, or they end up having a DUI and they only 16 years old is not the time to rethink you decision. Most of these critics indeed received spankings themselves felt unjust and feel that they have to advocate for the world. Did they ever stop to think that if they mom had not spanked them than maybe they would not be voicing an opinion, they might be somewhere in an AA meeting or something. Kate got eight children six of them are the same age she needs to put the fear of mom in them to survive. It is eight against one for a good percentage of the day. If you have read any of my past posts parenthood is a battle and if you are like my family it is two against three than they got one up on you. Don't wait til your child plans another Columbine to pullout the "rod" than it is too late. Everybody wanted to know what was going on with their parents. Where I am from if your child wants privacy than they move out the only time a door can look is if you are in the bathroom or changing close. My mom talked to all my friends and read my diaries and went through my dresser and I think her for that. Any ways getting back on topic. Think about this the next time you are accusing her of being the worst mother in America, how are you involved in the matter, I don't care if you seen every show and whatever they invited you to a part of their life and not all. Anyways how would you feel if it was headline news every time you picked your nose? People accusing her of abuse because her kids are on reality and filmed three days a week if you feel that why way are you watching why further the involvement. She has a camera crew there and if they see abuse don't you think they would report it? No one has stop to ask themselves that they just want to sell papers and mix up the truth as usual. I am one who truly believes in the threefold rule. you know what I am talking about what you put out there you get it back three times worse. For those critics out there who deemed you perfect and fit to speak on the lives of others besides the fact that it entertains a little at the end of the day we are all still imperfect and make mistakes daily.

The next topic on my list has been burning me up for some days now. they cancelled some more black television shows and I felt like they were doing good and I know I tuned in every Friday on the Cw to watch The Game and Everybody Hates Chris. They were the survivors of an ever dying form of entertainment. They have put every minority ahead of what is now America's majority. To get black shows you have to go to bet and TV one and that is so crazy. Save our shows.

Last but not least leave Micheal Vick alone and let it go. It was on his property he was gone all the time let him go. People in other countries eat cats an dogs you gone try to band them too. The whole situation got out of hand and the world needs to let that man live his live. stop torturing that man he did not do worse things as some other players. Come on all them other felon athletes, Buying sex, shooting people, drug use most recently Dur's leave that man alone, let it go people. Vick did what the last president could never do accept responsibility. that's all for tonight.

Problems and more problems

I know that I have not wrote in a while but things have been kind of crazy. I tell you what I have been through somethings how some people get nose jobs I do not know. In the middle of March I under went surgery on my nose and I am still in pain. The surgery went fine but I always catch an infection after surgery and when I catch one infection it is life threatening because I have 2 pages full of antibiotics that I can not take because I am allergic. So i can only take the milder class of this type of medicine and I keep an infection for months. I have one right now. But I tell you one thing I am a professional patient. The people who come to drug you up can't spell the proper name you'll know I do not lie to you'll anyways they come in and I told them everything I needed to know. She asked me was I nervous I replied no and kept playing gin rummy on my phone. I have to be that why I have had 8 surgeries in my lifetime, and 7 have been within the last past 6 years. I still need like 2 more surgeries maybe 3. Another dramatic thing that happened I am the fat woman cliche I hurt my back and buttocks again because I sat in a chair and it broke and I hit the ground, to my defense the chair leg was loose because my kids had been using it for a playground. Imagine my embarrassment as I had to tell medical staff what happened. This is worse than the time when I was in middle school and I spilled hot tea on my stomach and the burn was in the shape off a spill, to make the whole thing worse I had a bag of frozen peas on it when I arrived to the hospital and the nurses were laughing at me. I could go on forever about what scarred me as a kid but I really do not want to post all my life on the net. Coming soon for me next will be a video blog with my crazy kids playing they are hilarious so be sure to tune in.

I just did something stupid

I just signed up to follow my own blog now i feel crazy. this is what i have been talking about it is late night my mind is unclear and im eating cereal it is the perfect example of net responsibly.

So busy on twitter I forgot about writing

I had been hearing about twitter for months and I thought that I would not join because hello I have like so many places to go on the web, my space, aolmail, yahoo360, helium, iwon and face book to name a few but than I got hooked on to twitter. I like it because the celebs show how much they are like everyone else. It is somewhat like a big old chat room that celebs can talk too. quick thought how is this country going broke when everyone has a record label any way getting back on the subject. everyday I update and look forward to the witty crazy things that people all over the world have to say. join in you might have a ball. well that is all for now I will chat later.peace.